


Café Noir

by dandelion_clock



Series: Cry for the Moon [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 14:13:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15664818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandelion_clock/pseuds/dandelion_clock
Summary: Of hangovers and heartbreak.





	Café Noir

It's a Sunday morning and Lily Potter suppresses a sigh when she opens her sitting-room door and sees the long, lean lump on her sofa that is Sirius Black. It's not an unexpected sight. There's an empty bottle of Ogden's firewhisky on the kitchen counter, and upstairs her husband is groaning quietly into his pillows. Since Remus walked out on him Sirius has spent more time at the Potters' house than he has in his own apartment, and James has spent many a long, companionable night helping him to drown his sorrows. 

And Lily's sorry for Sirius. She really is. But sometimes she wonders if she's ever going to get her home and her husband back to herself. 

Privately, too, she rather misses Remus. Between themselves James and Lily agreed that they weren't going to take sides. Lily even sent Remus an owl, filled with affection, regret, and promises of friendship. She's not altogether surprised, however, that Remus has been keeping his distance. That they seldom see him except on Order business. However fond everybody is of everybody, James and Sirius are _best friends._

She tells herself she'll write to Remus again. 

What’s surprised her most about the whole matter is how devastated Sirius is. Of course she knew he was in love, and unarguably possessive, but…well, it’s _Sirius,_ isn’t it? Hogwarts heart-throb. He could’ve had almost any girl at school, if he’d ever shown the faintest interest. 

Though Lily, honestly, could never really see it. Yes, he's very beautiful, with his storm-dark eyes and ridiculous cheekbones, but Lily never cared much for all that mush. Even James, for years, was more like an unpleasant itch. A troubling splinter under her skin. Right up until the day when she finally _got_ him. Finally saw the bravado, the brash tomfoolery, and the ridiculous posing for what it was. Saw the sweet, loving idiot underneath. 

'Coffee?' she asks, brightly. 

The lump stirs and Sirius's tousled head pops up. 'Morning.'  
'You alright?'  
'Yeah. James?'  
'Says he feels like a blast-ended skrewt is pincering his brain.'  
Sirius snorts. 'Lightweight.' 

She misses Remus because he was, in some ways, her ally. Could talk about Muggles without sounding like they lived on a different planet, liked to help out around the house, and would exchange secret, exasperated smiles with her when James and Sirius were at their most provocative and arrogant. 

She makes coffee as dark and thick as pitch, and takes it through to Sirius. 

'Merlin,' he says. 'Did you use dark magic to make this?'  
'Now who's a lightweight?' 

He flashes his eyes at her and knocks it back. Swallows with a grimace. 'Fuck.'  
'You'll feel better in a minute.'  
'I'm already feeling peachy thanks.' 

She ignores that. For all that he's stupidly attractive, Sirius currently looks like crap. His skin is almost alabaster and the circles under his eyes are like bruises. Also he's twitchy and unsettled in a way that's unfamiliar. In spite of his swaggering, his recklessness, his spitfire temper, _peri-Remus_ Sirius was grounded in a way that _post-Remus_ Sirius definitely isn't. 

Not that coffee's going to fix that. 

'What time is it?' Sirius asks.  
'Half past ten.'  
'Harry not up?'  
'Since six. He's having his morning nap.'  
Sirius lets his head thunk back against the sofa. 'I don't know how you do it.'  
Lily suppresses a grin. 'I've left him in bed with James.'  
He chokes on a laugh. 'You're a _menace.'_

Lily doesn't really think so, of course. Not when she thinks of the little bundle of pure magic that is her tiny son, snuggled safely next to his dad. She loves James deeply, she really does. But the way she feels about Harry is qualitatively different. Fierce and unshakeable. Almost desperate. 

'Do you want some breakfast?'  
'I could murder a fry-up.' 

For all that he's renounced his background, it's always annoyingly obvious that Sirius grew up with house-elves. She wonders if Remus did all their domestic stuff. About the state of Sirius's now Remus-free apartment. Imagines dishes piled in the kitchen sink, and dirty laundry under the bed. It's nine parts infuriating and one part tragic. 

'Bacon and eggs?'  
His smile is dazzling. 'You should leave James, and marry me instead.' 

She doesn't say _I'm not your type._ It seems unkind and obvious, and she doesn't want to ruin the joke. 

Instead she goes through to the kitchen, and starts breaking eggs into a saucepan. 

James doesn't talk about feelings much. Has only just begun to learn, under Lily's resolute tuition, the vocabulary of emotions. She's fond of Fleamont and Euphemia, but she's not going to raise Harry like that. Already tells him quite seriously about everything, and often thinks she sees, in his wide green eyes, a look of exceptional sweetness and wisdom. 

She goes back to the sitting-room to ask if Sirius wants any toast. And catches him standing by the window, staring down at his own hands, with a strange, lost look on his face. It's one she's spotted a few times, actually, at odd moments in the past few weeks. 

James doesn't talk about feelings much, but she knows how worried he is about Sirius.  
'I know it sounds daft,' he said to her yesterday. 'But what if he _never_ gets over Remus?'  
'Of course he will', she said, with certainly. 'He probably can't imagine it yet, but broken hearts mend. That's just how people work.'  
James frowned. An uncharacteristic crease above his pointy nose. 'But Sirius isn't _people,_ is he? And he's never been normal about Moony.' 

The Sirius she remembers at school always seemed so invulnerable. The good looks, the straight Os, the effortless cool and sniggering girls. The pretty, blue-eyed, adoring boyfriend - and yes, people talked about that, were curious, or jealous, or titillated. 

But no one ever saw the need to protect or pity Sirius Black. To see him as lonely, or fragile, or different. 

'Sirius?' she says gently. 

He looks across the room at her with wide, dark eyes. Eyes the colour of rainy autumn skies. 

'He's not coming back,' he says. 'Is he?' 

And what can Lily tell him, really? 

'Come through to the kitchen,' she says softly. 'I'll make you another cup of coffee.' 


End file.
